Remember that one person many years ago. That one person whose name still sends shivers down your spine. You remember how much you yearned for them when they were close and how much you suffered when they were far away. You hear an old song, smell a fragrance, or drive down a certain street and you feel the love that was once there but is no longer and will never be. For me. those memories leave a mark inside my soul and they seem to effect every relationship I have. According to an article by Amadon; Love Rules the Present, he says “If loves rules the present then why do people compare their current lover to their past lovers?
I feel it is b/c we are not always in the present moment. Sometimes we are always fearful of the past pain creeping into our current situation. This is a natural response. Just like a dog that was abused, he will always flinch when a hand comes close to his face. How do we separate the past from the present and find the love in the now?
A woman friend of mine has been married 4 times and has been single and pretty much celibate for the past 8 years. She is a beautiful 50 year old woman with a successful career and playful lifestyle. But her heart is so heavy from being hurt so many times in the past. I even find myself, a young woman in my 20’s, fearing that certain situations that happened to that woman will happen to me.
When we are caught up in the issues of the past we can not see what is in front of us clearly. Amadon says, “All beings surrender to love, like a falling apple surrenders to gravity. Love rules the present. It rules by attraction, like gravity. We can fight love’s attraction, but it isn’t easy. Whoever is truly free—not stuck, or resisting—surrenders to love like a falling apple surrenders to gravity”.
The ‘falling’ of falling in love is the hardest part. This is when our deepest fears come bubbling to the surface and we must surrender to the authentic person who is standing in front of us in this moment. We must stop seeing them as that one person who hurt us so badly in the past and we must start seeing them as a new experience in the now.
“Inside every human being, ego and spirit battle to hinder or help our desire to love now”.
But why is it so hard to love in the now when we have been hurt in the past?
Oh how a single flower can carry the whole world of love in its fragrance. Even as its petals whither over time, the pigments deepen and the memory of the first moment the bud was pricked from the stem and placed in the palm of my hand keeps ripening in my heart. A single flower sustains the lovers journey and reminds me of the connection to my love.
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